The Kid Archive

  • Making Babies and Shit

    On a night not unlike this one your mommy and daddy decided to have a baby. It started, as many things do, with a conversation. “I have an idea,” said your daddy. “How about you” he began, indicating mommy, “start eating a few extra burritos, yogurts, and Eggo Homestyle Waffles.”…

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  • The NICU: A Day at the Beach

    Whether you’re plunging toward rock-bottom with your lips wrapped around an amber-colored bottle, or you’re registering for a seminar on how toxins feed thetans to Lord Xenu, it’s usually agreed that “life changing experiences” are steps on a journey to somewhere predictable. And yet, while having a baby in the…

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